There are 581 ways to go crazy. There are 209 reasons to not go to work. There are 58 different was to cook a chicken. There are 5 ways I can fall asleep. It seems, I have a likelier chance of going crazy, not showing up to work, cook chicken a new way, and still never fall asleep.

Reason

You are the reason
I love
I cry
I smile
Today and forever
You are there
Around me
You are the reason
I can't keep my eyes off you
My eyes dream a dream looking at you
You are the reason
I dream
I dream about you
and I love
I cry
and I smile
Today and forever
You are the reason
my dreams never end
my dreams, they come true
they come true when I look at you
You are the reason
a dreamer's dream comes true
and I love
I love to dream about you
I cry
and I smile
and I dream about you
You are the reason
the tears fall
to the ground
drop by drop by drop
they fall
they fell
they fell when I fell
You are the reason
I dream
I dream about you
and I love
I love falling in love with you
I cry
and I smile
Today and forever
You are the reason.

Dr B. Log's Office, Therapy Session Day 1

Insomnia,
its torchering me
I have not slept
stress?
stress.
work?
marriage?
yes, yes.
what will solve this?
quitting work,
and having a successful marriage.
hmm, are you sure quitting work will solve the stress and not create new stress?
maybe, but it sounds like a good idea to me.
atleast, I will have all day to sleep!
hmmm..
look, I just want a solution.
there are no solutions here.
great. why did I come here?

Oh longing heart

....where is he?
eventhough he stands before me, where is he?
he is looking right at me..but nothing.
oh what have I done?
what have I said?
why is this torment tormenting me more?
why is this feeling emptying my heart?
why...do...I....feel.....so...........sad?
I thought it was he who hurt me.
I thought it was he who could not decide.
I thought he loved me. Does he not?
I guess not.
.....he does not answer.

The
silence
is
my
answer.

I sigh,
what else can I do?
nothing.
cry,
be upset,
ask, "why, why, why? I thought you loved me. You made me believe. You made me take a chance. Was it all a lie? Why did you stand there...'with this ring'?"

...'with this ring'
...'with this ring'
...with this...
there was true love that I gave you, for I truely loved you.
and now you know not,
and now you sit there,
and now you stay silent.

where are you?
and where did you go?
when did you leave?

I guess that does not matter.

What does now?
I thought true love mattered.
I have been proven wrong.

I cannot stop the love I have for you,

but, alas, I cannot stay without love.

I do not want to leave.

I am lost,
I too feel hollow.....




....where have I gone?

I am so freakin' tired. I need to pack. I have a flight tomorrow to Portland, Or. Oh why do I procrastinate?

Bless

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.....these are the things I have been blessed with.
Is it too many to say, or not enough to list?
Neither.
It is too great to list,
too great to count,
too great to paint,
too great to draw,
too great to ever wish for,
yet I am blessed.
I have more things than I ever deserve.
I have more things than I could ever imagine having.
when the sun rises,
when the stars shine at night,
when breathe fills my nostrils,
I am blessed.
Thank you for my blessings.
Help me to be grateful for what I have been given.
No matter what others have,
help me to count my own blessings.

Thirst

Dry, yearn, want, need, can't think about anything else..
weak.

So I drink,
I gulp.
Cold, wet fills

My mouth

I yearn no more. I want no more. I need no more. I am stronge.

I gulp more,
I spill over,
I waste.

I have no more. I want more. I need more.

I am weak,
too weak to stop.
I cannot think of anything else.
I have wasted and nothing is left.

I begin to thirst.

crisp air bliss

There is bliss.

There is crisp cold air.

I breathe well.

I breathe deep.

My lungs feel strong, full, and tight.

I close my eyes.

There is silence.

There is emptiness and fullness.

I am engulfed in the thickness of everything.

I have no walls. I have no enclosure. I have no body holding me down.

I am thoughts traveling in the air.

I can travel with the wind or I can keep myself still.

I am in an ocean of life.

You can not contain me.

There is nothing around me.

There are no such thing as objects.

I can feel the warmth of the sun. I can feel the crispness in the air.

I am bliss.